On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me:
"Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried." Narrated Tirmidhi
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Knowing that we are tested throughout this life and that Allah tests those that He loves. It is through those tests that we can grow stronger and wiser. People simply don't make as much progress through times of ease.
He tests us with money, love, family, friends, abilities, etc. We learn as each one is taken away or reduced to be grateful for what we have. We learn to hold on to what we need, let go of what we don't, and delight in the small joys we are blessed with daily.
There are some of us who turn hard and cold from these trials. They shut down the piece of themselves that was hurt in order to prevent future pain. We fail to learn the lessons we needed to learn, and we fail to realize that a different part of our heart will be tested later. We aren't saving ourselves from future pain, but instead prisoning ourselves inside the past.
We must not trick ourselves into believing we are a victim of circumstance. Even in situations where we don't have control over what happens, we have control over how we REACT. In instances where we feel hurt from another, we must put ourselves in their shoes and understand their motivations and drive.
We can not wish to change another while resisting to look at the world through their eyes.
Take the time. Get to know what someone else understands. Know why they think the way they do. Take the time. Stop talking. Start listening.
The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge - Stephen Hawking
When there is not another person involved, we must accept what has been handed to us and accept that there is Wisdom in what has happened. Make the best out of it. Look forward. Look back only to evaluate and make adjustments so you can progress. Simply put - take time for yourself, but sulking is a waste of energy. Stand up. Move forward. Get on with life. Everyone else is.
What missed a servant could not have hit him and what hit him could not have missed him. - Imam Tahawi